1. What are your individual “financial ancestries.” Discuss your personal pasts — how did your parents deal with money, how does that impact how you deal with it, and how might that impact your relationship?

2. Catalog your past mistakes and overall money habits — review your credit reports, and discuss the loan payments you may have missed and the credit cards you may not need. Discuss what you have learned (or still need to learn) about handling money.

3. Discuss who will pay the bills each month. If one person is making most or all of the money, discuss whether that person will get to make most or all of the financial decisions? Even under the best of circumstances, it may be a good idea, at a minimum, to hold regular household meetings, complete with spreadsheets and financial statements, so that the both persons are up to speed on the state of family finances.

4. Discuss how rich do we want to be one day? Discuss your individual career paths — are they going to be something that pull you together? If it is a possibility (or probability) in your lives, discuss whether you are both O.K. with one of you acting essentially as a single parent, with the other partner working 80 hours a week until the age of 80?

Mediation may be the most comfortable medium for preparing for marriage — a mediator can help both of you to explore the key financial issues that may be your greatest obstacles during marriage.

NOTE: My legal services include family law, divorce, child support, litigation, arbitration, mediation, child custody and visitation, alimony, equitable distribution, separation agreements, palimony, property settlement agreements, premarital and prenuptial agreements, midmarriage and marital agreements.

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A prenuptial agreement that is actually finalized after the marriage does not necessarily convert its character from a pre-marital agreement to a mid-marriage agreement. The additional fine-tuning of this agreement and its written terms following the marriage ceremony may constitute a simple continuation of the pre-marital negotiations and relate back to them.

NOTE: My legal and mediation services are offered to clients in Union, Old Bridge 08857; Perth Amboy 08861; Sayreville 08871; South Amboy 08878; South River 08877; Avenel 07001; Colonia 07067; Iselin 08830; Woodbridge 07095; Somerset 08873; Somerville 08876 and Watchung 07069, New Jersey.

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