1. What are your individual “financial ancestries.” Discuss your personal pasts — how did your parents deal with money, how does that impact how you deal with it, and how might that impact your relationship?

2. Catalog your past mistakes and overall money habits — review your credit reports, and discuss the loan payments you may have missed and the credit cards you may not need. Discuss what you have learned (or still need to learn) about handling money.

3. Discuss who will pay the bills each month. If one person is making most or all of the money, discuss whether that person will get to make most or all of the financial decisions? Even under the best of circumstances, it may be a good idea, at a minimum, to hold regular household meetings, complete with spreadsheets and financial statements, so that the both persons are up to speed on the state of family finances.

4. Discuss how rich do we want to be one day? Discuss your individual career paths — are they going to be something that pull you together? If it is a possibility (or probability) in your lives, discuss whether you are both O.K. with one of you acting essentially as a single parent, with the other partner working 80 hours a week until the age of 80?

Mediation may be the most comfortable medium for preparing for marriage — a mediator can help both of you to explore the key financial issues that may be your greatest obstacles during marriage.

NOTE: My legal services include family law, divorce, child support, litigation, arbitration, mediation, child custody and visitation, alimony, equitable distribution, separation agreements, palimony, property settlement agreements, premarital and prenuptial agreements, midmarriage and marital agreements.

Technorati Tags: marriage, mediation, premarital agreement, and easy technorati tags for wordpress plugin

Picture by poopface_productions

If you owe the Mediator for the mediator’s services, you should pay promptly; or else, you may be responsible for additional amount incurred by the Mediator in trying to collect those fees.

And, if you are an attorney, and your clients have not paid the Mediator yet; YOU have the responsibility to facilitate the prompt payment of that fee.

To analyze these duties and consequences further, check out N.J. Court Rule 1:40 — especially, Rule 1:40-4(b) [Failure to pay the mediator may result in an order by the court to pay the fees and costs of the mediator including any additional costs and fees incurred due to the non-payment and imposing appropriate sanctions]; and the Mediator Compensation Guidelines — especially, Paragraph 12 [Counsel have a responsibility to facilitate prompt payment of mediator fees].

NOTE: My legal and mediation services are offered to clients in Union, Middlesex, Somerset, Essex, Hudson, Bergen, and Morris counties in NJ.

Technorati Tags: mediation, and easy technorati tags for wordpress plugin

Picture by Sir. Mo

Despite all efforts to the contrary, the process of mediation may turn out NOT to be confidential:

F. Peter Phillips has brought to my attention a decision by Hon. Mr. Justice Ramsey of the Royal Courts of Justice in England that seems to render unenforceable the commonplace contractual provisions immunizing mediators from testifying as to the conduct of the mediation.

In Farm Assist Limited vs. DEFRA, dated May 19, 2009, claimant sought to set aside a settlement agreement obtained after a mediation that took place in 2003, on the ground that it was entered into under economic duress. Defendant requested that the mediator be compelled to give evidence as to what happened at the mediation. Claimant did not object. The court ordered that, in the first instance, the mediator produce her files and, eventually, that she give a witness statement.

In response to the court’s order, the mediator noted that her engagement agreement provided that the parties would not call her as a witness, and she applied to set aside the summons issued to her on the grounds both of contract and of generally recognized grounds of confidentiality and privilege.

The court held, on the first issue, that the confidentiality of private mediation is subject to an exception ”where it is necessary in the interests of justice for evidence to be given of confidential matters.” The court further questioned the scope of the contractual undertaking, noting that the parties agreed not to call the mediator as a witness “in relation to the Dispute,” while the present conflict related not to the Dispute but rather to the terms upon which the Dispute was voluntarily resolved.

As to the question of confidentiality and privilege as a general evidentialry matter, the court noted that the claimant pleaded what happened in the mediation, and the defendant waived any objection to — indeed requested –testimony respecting it. Because “the Mediator has an enforceable right to confidentiality under the express terms of the Mediation Agreement unless it is in the interests of justice that she should be called as a witness,” the court’s determination itself disposed of that objection.

[SOURCE]

NOTE: This Blog/Blawg, NJ Family Issues, is managed by Paul G. Kostro, Esq., an attorney/lawyer/mediator in Linden, Union County, New Jersey.

Technorati Tags: mediation, and easy technorati tags for wordpress plugin

Picture by ryaninc

To see a video about a simulated international business mediation session, go HERE.

More information about this video is available in the Blog Post: A Good Video for Cross-Border Mediation, posted by F. Peter Phillips.

NOTE: This Blog/Blawg, NJ Family Issues, is managed by Paul G. Kostro, Esq., an attorney/lawyer/mediator in Linden, Union County, New Jersey.

Technorati Tags: mediation, and easy technorati tags for wordpress plugin

Picture by Foxtongue

In “Poor economy drives down New Jersey divorce rate,” by Joseph R. Perone/The Star-Ledger, it is reported that Amy Shimalla, Esq., a divorce mediator for Copeland, Shimalla, Wechsler & Lepp, warned that “a divorce can cost from $10,000 to well over $100,000 depending on the complexity of dividing a couple’s assets.”

That is a lot of money — when staying married in no longer an option, Mediation should be seriously considered. However, Mediation requires both parties to be willing to negotiate in good faith; absent that, they can either stay in what some may describe as “living hell,” or pay a lot. Seriously, Mediation is usually the far better alternative.

Even if money is no object to you, your PRIVACY may be — see my prior Blog Post: If YOUR privacy is your concern, you should seriously consider MEDIATION and ARBITRATION.

See related Blog Post, published in the New Jersey Family Law blog.

See related Press Release from the New Jersey Judiciary: Modest Increase in Backlogged Court Cases Reflects Difficult Economy

NOTE: This Blog/Blawg, NJ Family Issues, is managed by Paul G. Kostro, Esq., an attorney/lawyer/mediator in Linden, Union County, New Jersey.

Technorati Tags: divorce, mediation, news, and easy technorati tags for wordpress plugin

Picture by chego101

In a Prior Post, Public Access to Court Records and Administrative Records, I alerted that public access to court records is being expanded.

This expansion of public access to court records is detailed again in a story by Mary Fuchs (STAR-LEDGER STAFF): New guidelines will give public more access to court documents.

If YOUR privacy is your concern, you should seriously consider MEDIATION and ARBITRATION, instead of litigation (divorce or any other kind).

In a Prior Post, What is Mediation?, I provided reference material about both Mediation and Arbitration.

Personally, I favor Mediation — I favor Mediation because it allows the parties to come to an agreement which will best satisfy everyone’s needs. However, if one or both of the parties is not willing to mediate in good faith, then Arbitration will probably secure privacy, it that is what the parties want.

If you are interested in Mediation or Arbitration, please discuss it with your attorney, and call me [(908)486-2200] or send me an email to schedule an appointment to discuss your case in particular.

See related Blog Post, published in the New Jersey Family Law blog.

NOTE: My Law Office is located at 726 West Saint Georges [W. St. Georges] Avenue (Route 27), Linden, Union County, NJ. Telephone: 908-486-2200

Technorati Tags: arbitration, litigation, mediation, privacy, and easy technorati tags for wordpress plugin